Things I Learned Trying To Get Laid In SkyrimI think we both know which option I chose. Nokia Simulator For Windows. But I didnt do it as part of Throggs wacky adventures, a premise I had at some point abandoned without even realizing it. I did it because I spent a day of my life figuring out how to let a dog fuck my Skyrim character, so goddammit, I was going to let a dog fuck my Skyrim character. I watched with exhausted detachment as my mighty orc stripped and kneeled on the cold cobbles, like a prisoner of war being told to kneel in front of an empty trench. As the dog emotionlessly mounted me, his penis invisible because I had mercifully erred somewhere, a child walked by. Youre naked she laughed before running off, unconcerned as to why an animal was squirting something onto my anus. Then, when it was over and Throgg began his walk of shame, this message appeared. Bethesda SoftworksContinue Reading Below. I stared at it, uncomprehending. What was it trying to sayWas it supposed to be You love fucking animals, an acknowledgment that I enjoyed the services this mod provided Or was it a sarcastic You love animals, fuck, as in Holy shit, you are way too into animals Was the dog fucking mod mocking me I closed the game, turned off my computer, and sat in silence. Page 1 of 142 Yiffy Age of Skyrim posted in Downloads Skyrim Adult Sex Mods File Name Yiffy Age of Skyrim File Submitter Bad Dog File Submitted. I realized that little girl was right. I was naked. When youve dedicated that much time to letting a virtual dog sodomize your virtual stand in, I dont care how ironically detached you are you ask yourself some questions. Like, What does it say about modern civilization that people have the free time to design dog fucking mods, and then I get paid to write about them And, Is there something seriously wrong with me Like, on a fundamental levelBethesda Softworks. At least Lillith doesnt question me. Continue Reading Below. I was also conflicted about my failure. Was I an idiot for not figuring out the technical nuances of a system that a forum full of people who jerk off to video games had mastered Why did that bother me if the only people who would judge me for my ineptitude were those same masturbatorsHad I let my employer down by failing to deliver the Skyrim sex travelogue I had promised What am I doing with my life if thats even a valid question Whens the last time I talked to another human being Why is my penis out I found satisfactory answers to some of those questions, but others still haunt me. And while I havent played Skyrim since that fateful day, I think Im going to wipe it clean and give it a go. CA22E41D70CEB7D4A73612934906049509E13F8/' alt='How To Install Skin Texture Skyrim' title='How To Install Skin Texture Skyrim' />Throgg and I are going to smash some heads, and thats not a euphemism. And if in some forgotten corner of the map we discover Alicia Painslut, we will simply tell her we have no need for her services and leave for our next adventure. You can read more from Mark, including all about how he got mad laid in Oblivion, at his website. Skyrim is a pretty transformative experience here at Cracked. See how it prompted Robert Brockway to deal with his boring personality in 5 Personality Flaws Skyrim Forces You To Deal With, and see the other side of the Skyrim relationship what has our world come to in 1. Days As A Skyrim Widow The Dark Side Of Gaming Addiction. Subscribe to our You. Tube channel to see why taking sex advice from video games is a bad idea in Horrible Lessons Video Games Teach Us About Sex, and watch other videos you wont see on the site Also follow us on Facebook, because well be here for you when your video game relationship fails and you need a place to vent. Tonight only Youre invited to a LIVE PODCAST where Cracked editors will talk post apocalyptic movie worlds with scientists and special guests at UCB in Los Angeles Find tickets hereVideo tutorials for installation using Nexus Mod Manager Skyrim 2015 Photorealistic Ultimate Graphics Tutorial by PredCaliber english How to Install RealVision. Weve found the 29 best mods you should download for Skyrim Special Edition which will fix NPCs, add new combat, and make travelling a lot easier. This mod adds some new sliders, head parts, one race, and more natural makeup colors. For more information on my blog. If you want a skin for men with a working penis, get Schlongs of Skyrim. Crack Hitman Sniper Challenge. This will apply to male characters including yourself as female nudes will apply to female.